It's not really going to be CLOSE to the same 'day one' as was your last 'day one' Chery, because you're going to feel fine in terms of withdrawals ... *this time* ... you won't really have any. But they will come back with a vengeance if you let yourself keep using. Stop now, again. Don't let the fact that you messed up one time put you back into the spiral.
This is only 'the end of the world' ... if you LET IT BE. Right now you still have a choice. You are not physically ensnared with the addiction again ... yet.
Lets just say, this one time, that you had a legitimate medical need for the pills on this one day, just like I felt I did when my tooth exploded on me a few weeks ago and I 'had' to take four percs. I just accepted that I needed them at that moment, and I moved on and everything is fine now.
Had I allowed myself to think OMG my two years is GONE, down the drain, etc, like the way you're thinking, I would've probably been in real trouble ... but I refused to think that way, and I think you should do the same.
Right now, only four percs into a relapse, your 102 days is NOT 'all for naught' ... and it won't be UNLESS you CONTINUE to mess up. You still have a choice, and making the right one here is so unbelievably critical.
Because: trust me, the consequences of your continuing to mess up are going to get nothing but worse and worse. Nothing much has changed here Chery just because you used one time ... but everytime you use from here, things will change more and more, you'll get nothing but further and further from where you were. So ... don't. It's that simple. You gotta suck it up and move on. You got 102 days before, you've proven you can do it. Now you just gotta do it again, and then go beyond it.
BTW ((hugs)) sorry for all the pain you've just been put through again Chery ...
We love you
