Chery, I just read your other post, I somehow missed it before. The post where you were getting directions from the guy @ IOP.
I'm gonna call you out on this...
First of all, relapse happens way before we actually use, and seeing that post made me wonder if you were already projecting using.
Secondly, your comment was basically, "I'm not your common addict, I'm no street criminal, or no check forger"...Let me say this...YET. I'm sorry to inform you of this but, you are an addcit, so am I, and we're no different than that 'street criminal or check forger' only by the grace of God, we haven't gone to certain extremes...YET. When we start setting ourselves apart, then we start justifying our using, and I believe that's what happened in this situation...and that's why you relapsed. There are no variables of addiction....you're either an addict or you're not....period.
I used to think like this...before I got help and went to rehab. I used to say, "oh, I'm not robbing a bank to get high" or "I'm not selling my body for drugs". But I found out while I was in rehab with, doctors lawyers, teachers, and yes, nurses, that no one addict is better than the other, that we all at one time,were little babies full of inocense, some mother's presious child. We all have had problems in our childhood, in our lives. I, for one grew up in a very disfunctional home, with both parents being alcoholics. But, I realized that hanging on to all of that pain, was making me sicker, and furthering my spiral into addiction. I forgave the past and now I've been set free.
You need to do the same and not let it be and excuse to relapse ever again. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life, if you let it.
Penny