Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ~ that our lives had become unmanageable.
Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior?
How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?
How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else?
How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?
Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one?
In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people?
In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?
What brought me to Al-Anon? What did I hope to gain at that time? How have my expectations changed?
Who has expressed concern about my behavior? My health? My children? Give examples.
How do I know when my life is unmanageable?
How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?
Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Do I take care of others easily, but find it difficult to care for myself?
How do I feel when life is going smoothly? Do I continually anticipate problems? Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
How well do I take care of myself?
How do I feel when I am alone?
What is the difference between pity and love?
Am I attracted to alcoholics and other people who seem to need me to fix them? How have I tried to fix them?
Do I trust my own feelings? Do I know what they are?
This is from the book How Al Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics., pp 47
Al Anon does not promise that every alcoholic will get sober, or that sobriety will solve our problems or fix our relationships. We may never have the family of our dreams or win the love of those who have no love to give. But our program does offer us hope, because it is all about change. By being honest and admitting that the power we tried to wield over alcoholism was never readily available to us, we let go of the illusion that kept us imprisoned in an endless cycle of repetitious, self-defeating behavior and inevitable disappointment.