Hi Cher--
I too have suffered some retro-PTSD from childhood sexual abuse that caused more relapses than I care to count. As I got older, the drugs stopped numbing, stopped working...the dreams, flashbacks, and shame and humilation however, continued and got stronger. Working thru some of this over the past year has allowed me to keep sober. That and using suboxone, which afforded me the chance to plunge into therapy without the burden of cravings. I have used both these tools to the max and I am the better for it. Just one man's strength, hope and love.
Remember: You NEVER have to have a first day again!!!!
Keep the faith...
YOurs,
GunSlinger