What does your therapist suggest?
Just a question to ask yourself...
mine had me write them a letter and send it..
first I wrote it and then she reviewed it.
And don't be fooled, they didn't get it at all...
it was just me making a stand and speaking for myself..
it actually took years to negotiate a comfortable and now pleasing relationship with them...and we on both sides, take precautions to limit the time and place we are together.
I started this process in 1993...
but I have been able to let go of the things that stung for so long and they are now elderly and I just want them to feel loved and appreciated...peace, serenity and love in their old age...but it has taken years to get here!
And my mom, the main offender of the intemperate tongue has been trained to pretty much keep it to herself because I bite back these days, so it isn't worth it to her anymore.
I am sorry that is what it took, but it takes what it takes.
I had to demand and only accept respect.
The how-tos are very individual even tho' the basic concepts are the same for all of us...
best wishes to you in this,
take care of yourself and your kids first....
live