Slayer

Hey I am 22 years old and I have been drinking heavily for about 2 years now. I had my first drink at 18 and by 19 I was drinking 12-15 beers a night after work. By 20 I had been drinking just about all day everyday. On an average day I drink 20-30 beers at this point. Its become an obvious problem, I have done countless embarrassing things, I have lost motivation in all other aspects in my life, and I live my life based around alcohol. The problem is when I am drunk I am actually really happy, even if I am behaving like a complete jackass. I am aware that the path I am going on can only lead to bad things and I don't want to end up 30 or 40 and wishing I wouldn't have wasted my life on alcohol. I am not sure I could actually sit down through an AA meeting and work the steps. I never have been much of a "team player". I guess that could be the alcoholism talking, but even before I was drinking I always preferred to do my own thing.

My other question is... how long does it take for things to get back to "normal". I have quit drinking for periods of 2-3 weeks and the entire time I can't seem to enjoy anything. I try to force myself to do activities to replace alcohol and nothing is "fun". I realize you pretty much have to earn sobriety, but its hard to stick with it when nothing brings you pleasure and you feel no reward for doing it.