Originally Posted by
MycoolFitz 
You can choose for yourself, what you are is free. Has sobriety been a burden or a hardship? If you are an alcoholic and I have no way of knowing, if you pick back up you'll be right back where you were before stopping or worse in just a matter of days or weeks, its the nature of the beast. You didn't choose sobriety it choose you. You may be wise not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever you decide all my best to you.
Mycoolfitz-
Has sobriety been a burden? Hmm...well i feel life is so boring when you are sober. I feel like I am missing out on fun. I dont ever want to do anything "sober" because I never did anything sober. However, my life was a mess when i was drinking. And now it is not.
Was I an alcoholic? That's another good question because I dont know. I never had the typical shakes, I never had to wake up and drink, and I could go a day or two without drinking. However by the age of 25, I could out drink seasoned alcoholics under the table, I was always blacking out, missing work, in debt, driving drunk, i could not have one drink because that would lead to 20, and I was popping Xanax and doing lines of cocaine all day, every day.
I have a sick thought in my head if I started drinking again I could just have one or two and I could control it. Ironically, if someone gave me a Xanax, I know I would be abusing them within a week.
Everyone tells me my medical condition- although its horrible and will eventually kill me- really did save my life. I know it did get me out of addiction....I honestly think I'm just going thru a bunch of stuff right now and think drinking again will make it all go away. When I know it may probably make it a lot worse.