Thank you guys!!! I'm still in the same spot....still struggling mentally...not willing to go to meetings....thinking I can do this on my own....but for once I have actually stopped myself, or stopped myself from allowing myself to think its ok to drink again....
My husband has been away for over a week on a vacation with his mother, and since the moment he left I have been trying to talk myself into drinking......
I CAN NOT BELIEVE I've made it this far....
I am great at disapointing, and letting down and giving in...
This has not been my longest stretch of soberity, but I am SO proud I did not give in!!
It's been difficult, like it always is for us, somehow or another.... but this time, I fought it.....actually yelled at myself...and ignored my thoughts, ignored the voice trying to convince me it was ok, ignoring the beer in the frigde and the drunk people who wanted me to come play......I actually said NO.........? it felt great!!!!!!
I need the strength to keep this going!!!! FOREVER
I never want to go back to that life