What am I?
Hi!
I was wondering if someone can tell me what I am in terms of recovery/sobriety?
I did drugs and drank heavily for 13 years. I was a hot mess. Then in 2005 I get sick with a medical condition and I am forced to lay in bed and cold turkey everything. Because I was so sick, I was not allowed to leave my bed..or my house...and my doctors would not let me drink! So I stopped going to bars, ditched my addict friends, and got a degree in counseling to be an addictions counselor. And I was so proud of myself for being sober.
But here is 4 years later, and I am starting to feel a lot better and I think my doctors will let me drink again. And this may sound pathetic- but I'm questioning why I am sober. I got sick at the age of 25 and I was forced to stop using. I did not choose to stop. And I never went to rehab, counseling or any 12 step programs.
So Have I really been sober for 4 years? Or was this just situational recovery? Or abstinence? Or am I a dry drunk? I keep telling people I will be sober 4 years on labor day...but have I really?