Doing really well Alice, and if caring for yourself and YOUR finances by dropping the dead wood on your accounts, and expecting XABF to pay his own way is being bitchy, then tough bikkies.
As for the "friends" who tell you to leave him, then suggest you are not nice to drop him off your accounts etc, :wtf2 do they want? Do they want you to leave him but go on supporting him in the manner to which he has become accustomed? Tell them to get real, and haven't they noticed he is a grown man, an adult, not a kid. (then again!!!)
He's got 2 feet hasn't he? Let him learn to stand on them, it may be such a novel experience that he gets to like being an adult responsible for his business at last.
Keep it going and be as bitchy as you need to be, tho I would call it responsible self caring and independance.