Sandra,
I have exactly the same feelings as yours, and I believe so do many others involved with a drunk. I am making a decision to leave him. It's tough and sad, but I have to do it, otherwise I will lose my own health, my job, and future. It is not easy to change my attitude and response to his drinking, as much as he cannot change his behavior. Together we will make each other worse. He recognized he has a problem a long time ago and constantly said that he will not do it again, but he is still drinking. So no matter how bad or good he will become without me, it will be irrelevant. There is something deep down there (genes, brain chemical, childhood experience, etc) that nobody, even themselves, cannot change and have to deal with it all their live. It's painful to go through this with them.
I've been to Al-Anon and AA several times, it's amazing to find that there are so many like us sticking with an alcoholic for so long! I heard that nine out of ten women will stay with an alcoholic, but one out of ten men will do so. Have we set limits?