I'm getting into this later than most but oh my gosh, you are really going through alot!! I've been raped and it was awful, I can't imagine the emotional aspect of it being someone you trusted. My roommate was raped in college, she was passed out and only vaguely remembers someone coming in the room - she did press charges even though it was most likely a guy she was seeing (it turned out to be an acquaintance at the party - he was convicted and the scary thing is - was thrown back into prison a year after he was released for raping again). Anyways, it really hit home to hear this, I'm so sorry.
It does sound as though for whatever reason your ex boyfriends have maybe topped mine in horridness! Go see a counselor please please, you (we) deserve better and you are so young, I'm seven years older and would hate to see you waste as much time and sadness on difficult and/or very harmful relationships. It should not be like that, and I cannot imagine being able to move forward with trust from that. Maybe you could do it, but would it be worth that much pain? It has always helped me to just stay away and kinda get my head around the situation. Therapists can really help.
Also, I guess on the very important recovery... I am an alcoholic, just very recently have admitted this and it sucks, I'm scared, but it feels better to finally move forward, like there is a weight off my chest, the possibility of more. I have been drinking heavily for 6 years, it has been such a sad and lonely time. It has been up and down but I keep hearing all the optimism on this site, and there has to be something better out there!
My little sister actually has bpd and is addicted to narcotics, so you are not alone. It hurts me to see her in pain as she is one of the most wonderful, kind, beautiful, loving people in the world. She has kicked it before, it just takes patience and faith. Please be as good as you can to yourself, I know you have so much going on, but you are worth it. Take care.