sfgirl,
I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with AA, and no-one should argue that AA is the only way to recovery; it's in our traditions that we accept there are other methods.
And with regards to AA being 'male heavy', I also understand that is a problem, particularly when it comes to find strong female sponsorship (which is a problem my homegroup has; but is widespread; so I've read).
But if you're working a programme that has elements of spirituallity* in it then that's great and will work. Originally the Big Book was designed to be a stand alone item of recovery; there weren't widespread meetings all over the World when it was written.
I do find it a shame you can't share in the Fellowship though; I really enjoy that; but the spiritual programme is the most important part. But should you wish to reconsider AA, I'm sure if you contacted AA, they could get a female to get in touch with you personally and keep you safe at your first meetings till you feel more comfortable. They could here in the UK I'm sure.
*I'm currently reading a book on Budhism and you'd be surprised at the similarity between the principles of Budhism and the AA spiritual principles.