Originally Posted by
keithj 
I agree with all of this, sfgirl, except the part I bolded. I work with a lot of newcomers, and I'm pretty in the loop when a new guy comes in. Those that work the steps thoroughly do recover with almost no exceptions. I can't speak with any authority at all on those that stay sober without being in AA. I have little opportunity to be around them. But, AA is a little microcosm of the recovery population. I get to observe people at all points along the spectrum in that small world. Those that work the steps recover. Those that hang around and try to stay sober on their own, even while showing up for meetings, tend to hang around for a few months or a year, and disappear. Then they show up again a year later.
The part bolded was:
And some people cannot get sober in AA
I was unwilling to even go to AA. Again the reasons were the language of the Big Book was entirely geared towards men and had significant parts that did not speak to me; I was sexually abused many times (PTSD) and meetings are 70+% men; The first time I went to a meeting a man I did not know or want to know hugged me inappropriately— not okay— when you are raw you should not have to worry so hard about setting boundaries; I grew up in secular family and area, it was too religious in nature (while it is spiritual, its rituals make it seem religious); I'm not a joiner, never have been, I do things on my own. So that is why I was not going to get sober in AA. And please don't try to counter every single point. I have a right to have a treatment that works for me and I found it.
Once one gets inside the rooms, I understand there may be a discrepancy between people who walk the walk and people who just sit around. I think the 12 steps are powerful and I adopted them a lot in my own recovery work. However, to think that they are for every single person in the exact way that AA dishes them out is not correct. I think that AA's existence has enhanced alcohol treatment because it has added a spiritual aspect. I would never have thought to think about those things in my own recovery if it had not been for AA, and I am grateful for that because I realize how lacking it is in our society— this is a problem. However, I will say it again, the rooms are not for everyone, and I don't think this is an arguable statement. If you want proof, which I don't think you should need, here I am.