Don't Know Where to Go From Here
:praying
hello everyone.
right now i am utterly exhausted. My brother and father are the addicts in my life. right now my brother is the one with whom i am all out of options, basically my mother and i took him off the streets after he detoxed by himself and we could not see him live in a crappy recovery house where everyone is using.
my mom researched and found a place in allentown that is run by a family friend of a friend and he could go and recover away from the city and get better. well, he is on methadone as he was on herion for some time. he needed to ween off of the methadone before he could go to this house. the best option was for him to stay with us and ween off the methadone then go to the recovery place soon after.
BIG MISTAKE. Methadone takes months and weeks to ween off of, and my family does not have the money to care for all of my brothers needs as he needs bus fare each day and lunch money. My alcoholic father has not paid my mom in months, so money is tight. he sucked money out of her $20 a day that she did not have and here we found that he did not ween down on the methadone but is at a high dose.
We found this out because my family cannot take his moods, his nodding out mid talking, spitting up on himself selfish ways anymore. I left to stay with friends last week i could not do it. so, anyway my mom decided neither could se and yesterday we took him to a rehab and he flipped out totally blaming us.
when we got there the truth came out he was abusing anti-depressants and his methadone. so he had a choice stay and detox from the benzos or where do you want to get dropped off, we dropped him at a place where he picked and that was that, oh and he changed on the street thats how high he was. while i had to wait to get in the car. hardest thing ive ever done watching my 22 year old brother throw his life away.
as i am writing this he just called, has no where to stay and NOW wants to go to the rehab, not sure if it is because he has no place to go, OR he is serious. i have no trust in him i cant sleep and i am so tired.
please i need advice...im 18 and i cant stand to see my mom cry all the time and my brother throw his life away ive watched him do it since i was 14 its just not right.
any help would be appreciated thanks all.