I felt the same way about drinking, that I could not imagine my life without it. But I knew that if i continued down that path the only way my life would be without booze would be when I'm dead, and death felt pretty close.
If you know that you need some help, you are at the right place! Its helped me and many others, and you'll realize your not alone. Try not drinking for a few nights or a week....I'm sure you'll find it to be tough at first but then realize how much better you feel. Things will fall into place, just give it a go when youre ready!