Freedom, gave the kids extra kisses tonite
Well the kids are asleep and it seems that I now have to come up with a Plan A for tomorrow. Sitter is going to keep kids for me and see if I can get out of work at least early. Too short handed to take the day off. That problem solved.
Now comes the issue that I don't know how to handle yet. I really want to handle this right. What do I do once AD is out of jail. How involved do I get myself in the kid issue. Or do I? Once she is out do I just let her pick up the kids, not sure I can stop her legally, do I have the (personal) right to stop her? Should I just let it play out? UHGGGG. I just don't know.
I do feel differently than what I thought I would by now. Not that long ago, I probably would have went and got her, not because she couldn't stand it, but because I couldn't stand it. It hurts, I'm uncomfortable, but I have no desire to rescue her this time. It feels strange, but in a way good. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
I think that means that I am getting better. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Really sick and really tired. I just want to live my life, find some self-fullfillment, and worry about whether I am happy. I kind of like only worrying about me.
But then I come back to trying to figure out what is my business and what isn't.
I am much more tired than I thought I would be so, I think for tonite I am gonna sleep on it, pray on it and give it to God for tonite. Let it go for tonite. But I would appreciate if anyone had any thoughts, experience, ect., please share with me. I do have to make some kind of a decision in the morning. I will be up early in the morning and could use all the help I can get.
Gotahavfaith :praying