hi notbychoice-
i am so glad to hear that you are moving forward and now have someone to help you move. that's great.
i too got so sick and tired of not enjoying their company drunk and not enjoying their company sober. what does that leave? enjoying their company while their sleeping?
afterawhile at my house, my man would be around to eat, poo and sleep...i thought "how did this happen?"
you deserve so much more. i, myself, am looking forward to the day you get out of there and that burden is lifted from your shoulders. you can rediscover YOU.
as for him not liking AA, well, i go to AA (as there is no alanon in my small town) and i so look forward to it! what a relief to meet together with sober people hard at work at their own recovery. i find so much honesty and strength in that room.
it's such a shame that your husband is in denial. perhaps, when you leave, he might get real. i wouldn't be surprised actually if once you left, he started going to AA.
anyway, what he does is his affair and what you do is yours. i found when i was beginning to put my exit plan together, it was very helpful (and calming) to make a list of everything to be done and chip away at it.
just keep putting one foot in front of the other. there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
naive