I know....I am tired of telling myself these same thoughts/ideas/ REALITY---
I'm a smart person, I mean the best....I just fall short when it comes to will power and saying no
I know it's up to me, I know this is my fault....
But still.....I fight myself everyday to just stop thinking about it...to just NOT DRINK....It seems rational enough....all my misery comes from my drinking....only bad comes from it....but I always cave into myself.....Why can't I just let it go...?.... I/the real me...does not want to drink....but the alcoholic/immature/selfish girl inside me is still winning?!?!?! Send her away..for good this time!!