I could never stop the cycle either Jade. I would always drink when I felt better because drinking was what I did. I knew not drinking would be a very hard thing to do and it scared me - noone wants to be different....so I'd let myself think maybe my problems not that bad, maybe I'll do better this time...maybe this, maybe that...always ended up back in the same place.
I found reading back through my old posts, and the posts of others here helped me to make it through the days when I thought I was 'overreacting' and that I 'wasn't that bad'.
I was that bad.
Are you doing any programme Jade?
D