Hello,
I am new to the website and like it. I have the same feelings like yours, and so as many others here. I really need help too.
I have know my drunk boyfriend for about 21 months, similar to what happened to you, and things are getting worse. During the time I helped him find out that he has many physical and mental problems. You name it, diabetes, bi-polar, low platelet counts, liver disease (of course)... He is only 32, and gained 50 pounds to almost 300 while I lost 5 punds to only 102 lbs. He went to rehab twice since November of last year and just did the detox again a month ago, and did cold-turkey at least five times, but he achieved being sober for no more than two months. I used to be a medical doctor and I can see that he can die any time, either from hyperglucemia, coma, heart-attack, or simply alcohol. As you can see my posting just now, I tried, at the last attempt, using Anabuse in his meal. The only thing I will do next is not to hear from him again. He is simply stubbon! He lost his job recently, lost his health, loosing me soon, I don't know where is his bottom!
We all have our own needs to be met; we also care about others. I heard of enabling for over a year, but it's only recently that I realized that what I did, taking him to psychiatrist/psychologists, lending money to him, taking care of him and his dogs when he was sick, making him feel good when he feels depressed, etc, is typical enabling. But again it is difficult not to do it. We don't want alcohol to take his life away so we keep trying. And, of course, he is able to drink again because his sickness was taken care of.
Is there anything that I have not done to help him and myself? Thanks for helping me through this.