How'd you do on the twenty questions?
Well, the 20 questions.. I would be alcoholic, but it doesn't make sense due to the "have you evers"? Surely, I have drank to build up self-confidence, surely I have hung out with shady characters when drinking/partying in past, but what about now? As of now, on the 20 questions I score 2.
Drinking alcoholically does not mean one is an alcoholic, but I have to say I got the sense from your initial post you have already made up your mind about whether you are an alcoholic or not, and write although you have had "troubling indications" about your drinking you have come to the conclusion you are not an alcoholic.
Yes it does seem that way, I feel pretty strong. However, so have many failed "quitters" felt the same, so I am not excluding possibility of myself being wrong, hence I'm asking for outside opinion on the matter. What would you say? It is my understanding that loss of control over oneself is driven through a false perception of self. Even the 12 step program talks of that spiritual cleansing and drawing from a higher power. I think it is so that people eliminate the very root that made them want to get away, their current psychological picture of themselves caused them so much despair, hence the need to get away that addicts always report, and which I've felt as well. But once you resolve those troubling emotional issues that were the undercarriage of your abusive behavior, does your abusive behavior still survive even though you are an entirely new person with an entirely new outlook and experience of life?