Hi,
I have been divorced from my AH for two years and separated for much longer. I don't love him one bit less, and I have mixed feelings about our breakup-- I have a very good life now, and I like the person I am much better now than the one I was when I was living with an alcoholic, but the relationship I had with him isn't one I can replace.
There came a point when I felt like I had the choice to fall out of love with him, and I decided not to. I couldn't stand to feel nothing where I there had been love before. However, I might have made a different choice under other circumstances: he loved me very much in his own way, and he was never an abusive or falling-down drunk (and the addiction that caused me to throw him out wasn't alcohol, but pornography).
Slowly I came to understand the underlying truth that if he could do better, he would. Alcohol does something for him that it doesn't for me, and that I can't understand. It doesn't make him a failure as a human being.
--BG