Linkmeister

Lotus 2009-For me, this is the greatest test of me surrendering control over someone else's choices. It is easy to fall back into old patterns of behaviour and doing something to the contrary for the first time is scary - kind of like diving of the high diving board for the first time. Once you have done it and realize that it was less scary than you thought, you can do it again with less fear than before.

When ABF came home last night, laden with potato skins and stories of the 3 bars he visited, I stayed as non committal as possible - maybe I came off as indifferent, who knows, but for me, that was a stepping stone. As much as my brain was screaming out to freak out, I didn't. Maybe that's why I had such a pounding headache.....LOL...in spite of that, did the usual before bed things-took the dog out, shut off all the lights, took my book and headed to bed. ABF was already there, watching TV, falling asleep. No goodnight kisses or anything, just a mumble when I turned off the TV that it had been a long day and he was tired.

He was up before me this morning and again, there was no post binge hysteria from me-just the usual morning routine. He's had coffee and toast and is now back in bed. Lord only knows what the day will bring for either one of us but I will deal with it as it comes along, one hour, one minute if I have to.

We each have to deal with our life choices - good, bad, indifferent and the more I keep pounding this home to me, the more it seems to be sticking. I am a work in progress but for me to take this step is huge.

Thanks for helping me to see things from another point of view. That's one example that will stick with me.