I have found that in detaching and finding myself, I did have a loss of attraction physically. But more than that, I have found that the love I felt for my AH was for a man who didn't really exist anymore. That is who I miss, and at the beginning of all this, that is what hurt the most. I wanted him to be there in the way he had when we first fell in love.
That brought me back to the "for better for worse, in sickness and in health" question. I mean, if I am really supposed to stay in love with someone who is no longer there, is that the same thing? So you see, I have the same questions. I think you can totally fall out of love, and perhaps that is the safest way of all to be.