A follow on from
my thread last week.
So I attended my first AA meeting last week and man, it was eye-opening. After listening to some people's experiences, picking up some literature and chatting to a few folks I definitely overcame my misconceptions about AA.
However. Although my curiosity was tickled, I've since found it impossible to drag myself to another meeting, despite checking the meeting diary every day, promising myself that 'hey, the last one wasn't so bad. You're on a roll with all this 'recovery' investigation and such like'. Of course, I have been in the throes of a profoundly dark binge for the last fortnight, in spite of these developments, so it's little wonder that I've bottled it at the last minute.
But I'd settled on this Friday as I'd been told it was a 'newcomers meeting' and that it was a 'good one' to attend. Well, they were right. Just like last time, I forced myself to approach the pre-meeting crowd of smokers hanging outside (I was -this- close to just legging it) and within seconds a kind-hearted, warm and welcoming stranger shook my hand and chilled me out and I found a seat and listened while a meeting unfolded that was so touching, so open, so funny, so
right that I can honestly say that my previous fears about AA are truly relegated to the scrap heap of my other pretentious and false convictions.
As it closed and we ('We'. Now that's a fresh idea) poured outside for smokes, tea and coffee, a 'veteran' was already asking me how I felt about the meeting, what I knew about the programme, how I was coping and so forth. We didn't get long to talk before he had to go in again for some other meeting I didn't undestand, but man. Just talking. Just being able to converse about this gigantic sickness in my life with someone but with all the casuality of a football conversation was... disarming. Comforting. Attractive.
I'm now looking forward to the next meeting. The idea of a 'programme' of any kind isn't what is in my thoughts at the moment. Just making a connection with people outside of my bubble who know what I'm going through, maybe even better than I do, is enough to bring a smile to my face for one special day among immeasurable hopeless ones.
Thanks for listening.
Rich