My Second AA meeting
My Second AA meeting
A follow on from my thread last week.
So I attended my first AA meeting last week and man, it was eye-opening. After listening to some people's experiences, picking up some literature and chatting to a few folks I definitely overcame my misconceptions about AA.
However. Although my curiosity was tickled, I've since found it impossible to drag myself to another meeting, despite checking the meeting diary every day, promising myself that 'hey, the last one wasn't so bad. You're on a roll with all this 'recovery' investigation and such like'. Of course, I have been in the throes of a profoundly dark binge for the last fortnight, in spite of these developments, so it's little wonder that I've bottled it at the last minute.
But I'd settled on this Friday as I'd been told it was a 'newcomers meeting' and that it was a 'good one' to attend. Well, they were right. Just like last time, I forced myself to approach the pre-meeting crowd of smokers hanging outside (I was -this- close to just legging it) and within seconds a kind-hearted, warm and welcoming stranger shook my hand and chilled me out and I found a seat and listened while a meeting unfolded that was so touching, so open, so funny, so right that I can honestly say that my previous fears about AA are truly relegated to the scrap heap of my other pretentious and false convictions.
As it closed and we ('We'. Now that's a fresh idea) poured outside for smokes, tea and coffee, a 'veteran' was already asking me how I felt about the meeting, what I knew about the programme, how I was coping and so forth. We didn't get long to talk before he had to go in again for some other meeting I didn't undestand, but man. Just talking. Just being able to converse about this gigantic sickness in my life with someone but with all the casuality of a football conversation was... disarming. Comforting. Attractive.
I'm now looking forward to the next meeting. The idea of a 'programme' of any kind isn't what is in my thoughts at the moment. Just making a connection with people outside of my bubble who know what I'm going through, maybe even better than I do, is enough to bring a smile to my face for one special day among immeasurable hopeless ones.
Thanks for listening.
Rich
So I attended my first AA meeting last week and man, it was eye-opening. After listening to some people's experiences, picking up some literature and chatting to a few folks I definitely overcame my misconceptions about AA.
However. Although my curiosity was tickled, I've since found it impossible to drag myself to another meeting, despite checking the meeting diary every day, promising myself that 'hey, the last one wasn't so bad. You're on a roll with all this 'recovery' investigation and such like'. Of course, I have been in the throes of a profoundly dark binge for the last fortnight, in spite of these developments, so it's little wonder that I've bottled it at the last minute.
But I'd settled on this Friday as I'd been told it was a 'newcomers meeting' and that it was a 'good one' to attend. Well, they were right. Just like last time, I forced myself to approach the pre-meeting crowd of smokers hanging outside (I was -this- close to just legging it) and within seconds a kind-hearted, warm and welcoming stranger shook my hand and chilled me out and I found a seat and listened while a meeting unfolded that was so touching, so open, so funny, so right that I can honestly say that my previous fears about AA are truly relegated to the scrap heap of my other pretentious and false convictions.
As it closed and we ('We'. Now that's a fresh idea) poured outside for smokes, tea and coffee, a 'veteran' was already asking me how I felt about the meeting, what I knew about the programme, how I was coping and so forth. We didn't get long to talk before he had to go in again for some other meeting I didn't undestand, but man. Just talking. Just being able to converse about this gigantic sickness in my life with someone but with all the casuality of a football conversation was... disarming. Comforting. Attractive.
I'm now looking forward to the next meeting. The idea of a 'programme' of any kind isn't what is in my thoughts at the moment. Just making a connection with people outside of my bubble who know what I'm going through, maybe even better than I do, is enough to bring a smile to my face for one special day among immeasurable hopeless ones.
Thanks for listening.
Rich
Just being able to converse about this gigantic sickness in my life with someone but with all the casuality of a football conversation
Don't try to think too far ahead or try to figure it all out or hold on to any preconceived ideas... Go and enjoy the fellowship, one meeting at a time.... The program is there when you become ready... and if you work the program... it becomes really cool... like Astro said... the miracle.
BTW...
so it's little wonder that I've bottled it at the last minute.
Mark
wonderful post. Welcome.
You made my night, hon.
I hope you find the peace I've found.
If I can help - just let me know.
*sigh*
Sadnlonesome -
I figure if you were really as happy and fulfilled as you contend in your post -
you wouldn't have bothered to post such negative AA energy on this thread.
I'm glad for your glorious success,
however -
perhaps another thread would have been more appropriate.
You made my night, hon.
I hope you find the peace I've found.
If I can help - just let me know.
*sigh*
Sadnlonesome -
I figure if you were really as happy and fulfilled as you contend in your post -
you wouldn't have bothered to post such negative AA energy on this thread.
I'm glad for your glorious success,
however -
perhaps another thread would have been more appropriate.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
OMG i read your post Rich and really related to it! Then the first few posts about how people are happy for you with some great advice, then, of course, the crap posts come in implying that AA is a cult, you will be conditioned to think this and that...oh man please please don't listen to that crap!!!!!! It kept me away from AA, these people that bash AA are just misery loving company...keep going back mate, it's only been a few weeks of AA for me but it has helped me so much and now i have great people like me to have coffees with and feel so less alone.
Great post!!!!
Great post!!!!
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