Hi everyone,
Well, I have been trying to let go more and more this week and really have started focusing on me. There's a lot that I need to do for myself right now anyways (trying to get into a Masters program and need to get several things rolling before I apply), so it's been good to kinda spend some time on getting my stuff together. I haven't been obsessing (much) on how drunk AH is, what he's been drinking, if he will be drinking today, etc., and am feeling somewhat as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulder (at least a small weight
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However, I feel detachment isn't easy. I kind of took a step back on being affectionate (cuddling, sex, etc.), because I feel it's hard to let go if I'm still physically close to him. Not sure how long I can do without it before giving in, because I do need that type of affection from him too (but at least for right now it gives me some time to "breathe" a little).
My actual question is whether people tend to "fall out of love" when detaching too much?? I see myself acting kind of cold towards him (as a mechanism to be able to let go)... and I guess I'm scared that I get to the point where I will shut him out (as a result of detaching from him) so much, as to where I don't care about him anymore? Just thoughts that have been going through my head as I'm trying to deal with letting go... would appreciate any feedback on this.
Also, it has seemed as if while I am starting to feel better about myself (less depressed), he is becoming more depressed and drinking more. We are usually very touchy feely (when he is not wasted) and I know he is really missing that. I know I need to focus on myself and not obsess about him, but is what I'm doing going to make him worse?