I agree with everything you have said, and yes I did come here.
I just find it very hard to express myself on a written forum. I am a very outgoing passionate person who leads a normal life and I do feel that some have made a presumption.
I don't need to be told about the "it doesnt matter if you lead a normal life" story as I know only too well about the hidden dangers and the small signs. I have seen them all my life. Maybe thats what me coming on here is, to seek some sort of understanding, I don't know.
Since posting on here I have cut back to once a week. I am drinking tonight though. We are exchanging contracts on our dream house tommorow and I feel that I have finally reached where I want to be in life. My wifes on nights and I decided to crack open a bottle of red. I am up at 0900 to goto the bank and transfer the large deposit.
So, the calender can be updated: