thank you so much for the encouragement! I feel like I want to cry, it's just so good to have someone to talk to about all this and to reassure me that everything's going to be OK if I want it to be and work for it.
I know exactly where you are coming from here...when I first found this place I was a posting crazyperson! I learned SO much from others' stories and advice. I was not alone!!! I was not crazy!!!
And I truly mean this - it does get better.