dgillz: "I would share at your next AA meeting exactly what you just posted. You might even ask if anyone knows an NA meeting you can go to."
yea totally did that last time i shared. i started out saying that my drinking never got me in trouble and was less than moderate. don't get me wrong, i like a beer or two.
but they reacted with either confusion or frustration when i said my major issue was that i'd eat any and every painkiller i could get my hands on for over a year. this was at an open book discussion and they actually cut me off..."this is AA, we're here to help those who need help with staying sober from alcohol."
i am from a small town, pop. 27,000.
the thing i like about AA is hearing the stories of how when members became more honest and straightforward with their problems and those around them, not to mention themselves, they improved almost everything in their lives. alcohol or not, the drug/alcohol use was the problem.
but if i'm not welcome there, do i lie about my drinking to stick around? if so, inevitably, someone from a group is going to see me having a glass of wine at dinner somewhere. again, it's a small town here. everyone knows everyone just about. i don't want to mess with other peoples' sobriety and their satisfaction with a group.
Just talking about these frustrations makes me feel like i'm making excuses about staying in groups. but maybe a close-knit group of sober friends and family will be my support group, 12 steps or not.