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Old 07-27-2009, 06:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Hello everyone,

I'm a recently released (from rehab), 7-day clean, working on day-8 opiate addict. I'm over the withdrawal symptoms now besides sleeping. I do have that under control though with the help of my physician.

Today, I feel very positive. Things had gotten very rocky with my girlfriend, who i've been seriously dating for over 3 years now. When my crisis hit, she swore we'd never speak, let alone be together again. We went to church yesterday morning and had lunch. We're talking again and she is telling me she loves me again.

I guess she can see a change that I still cannot. Though I don't feel the desire to use pills whatsoever (probably just reactionary anger towards myself transferring into motivation not to use), I still feel like the same person at heart.

However now that I'm not sick, my options seem much more endless and more in life seems positive. I feel like I can have a life of some value. I'll have money, the respect of those I've been so undependable to for so long.



But I am struggling to get in any meetings...

I've been to two since leaving the detox facility. I even shared my story in one. Should this be a serious worry?

Last edited by chairmanma084; 07-27-2009 at 06:02 AM. Reason: can't spell
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Old 07-27-2009, 06:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
but I am struggling to get in any meetings...
What does this mean exactly? You can't find a meeting? You need a ride to it?
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Old 07-27-2009, 06:35 AM   #3 (permalink)
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glad you're here and reaching out! meetings will help you make sober/clean contacts/friends in your community. meetings help.

hugs, k
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Old 07-27-2009, 08:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
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What does this mean exactly? You can't find a meeting? You need a ride to it?
there are very few NA meetings in my area and i just sound like an ass in my AA meetings talking about using oxycontin all the time. it's just discouraging to go there.

and the NA meetings that do occur, other than one, are during my regular work hours or too far away for me to get to because i get off so late.

so, i go to one NA meeting a week, which actually isn't even an NA meeting. It's called "Reformers Unanimous" held in a baptist church that stresses the necessity of Jesus Christ's love/help to get through it all. i am not a christian, though working very hard on my personal spirituality/peace with God, whoever that is.

the one thing going for me now is my anger for the drug that has cost me so much and the great feeling of sobriety.

i guess what I feel like I need is/are people who have shared experiences as mine who i can talk to. for now, i'm only finding it online.
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Old 07-27-2009, 09:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I would share at your next AA meeting exactly what you just posted. You might even ask if anyone knows an NA meeting you can go to.

My experience has been that AAers can definitely be at odds with drug addicts, but in smaller towns where there is little to no NA they are much more accepting.
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Old 07-27-2009, 09:51 AM   #6 (permalink)
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dgillz: "I would share at your next AA meeting exactly what you just posted. You might even ask if anyone knows an NA meeting you can go to."


yea totally did that last time i shared. i started out saying that my drinking never got me in trouble and was less than moderate. don't get me wrong, i like a beer or two.

but they reacted with either confusion or frustration when i said my major issue was that i'd eat any and every painkiller i could get my hands on for over a year. this was at an open book discussion and they actually cut me off..."this is AA, we're here to help those who need help with staying sober from alcohol."

i am from a small town, pop. 27,000.

the thing i like about AA is hearing the stories of how when members became more honest and straightforward with their problems and those around them, not to mention themselves, they improved almost everything in their lives. alcohol or not, the drug/alcohol use was the problem.

but if i'm not welcome there, do i lie about my drinking to stick around? if so, inevitably, someone from a group is going to see me having a glass of wine at dinner somewhere. again, it's a small town here. everyone knows everyone just about. i don't want to mess with other peoples' sobriety and their satisfaction with a group.

Just talking about these frustrations makes me feel like i'm making excuses about staying in groups. but maybe a close-knit group of sober friends and family will be my support group, 12 steps or not.
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Old 07-28-2009, 09:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
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today is day 9. feeling great, though i've been missing meetings since friday night. instead, i've been with family and a sober friend, talking about everything, sorting out my finances, etc.

yesterday i joined the YMCA. i think it's very important to reclaim my physical health, at least as important as dealing with addiction in meetings.

the meetings i could join are impossible to make if i work full time, go to the YMCA, and attend school full time. where do i draw the line as far as taking time to reestablish myself in my community and making sure I go to as many meetings as possible.

i'll be honest, because it doesn't help me whatsoever if i don't, and say that I have not craved a pill since my detox. i'm in a good place mentally, sleeping well, and all that.

please provide a little insight...
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Old 10-14-2009, 10:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by chairmanma084 View Post
today is day 9. feeling great, though i've been missing meetings since friday night. instead, i've been with family and a sober friend, talking about everything, sorting out my finances, etc.

yesterday i joined the YMCA. i think it's very important to reclaim my physical health, at least as important as dealing with addiction in meetings.

the meetings i could join are impossible to make if i work full time, go to the YMCA, and attend school full time. where do i draw the line as far as taking time to reestablish myself in my community and making sure I go to as many meetings as possible.

i'll be honest, because it doesn't help me whatsoever if i don't, and say that I have not craved a pill since my detox. i'm in a good place mentally, sleeping well, and all that.

please provide a little insight...


I came across your post and am curious as to how you are doing?

I am weaning myself off the oxycodone and am down today to 5mg three times a day for about 3 or 4 days before I drop another 5mg.I dont think I ever took over about 50mg of oxycodone through out a whole day.I have read stories of where people have took enough in a day to kill a horse.

I was wondering after I take my last 5mg about how long will I go through the last bitof withdrawals?

Thanks a bunch.

Steven.
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Old 10-14-2009, 11:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by chairmanma084 View Post
but if i'm not welcome there, do i lie about my drinking to stick around? if so, inevitably, someone from a group is going to see me having a glass of wine at dinner somewhere.

the thing i like about AA is hearing the stories of how when members became more honest and straightforward
"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking"

You obviously have no desire to stop drinking, why would you want to attend an AA meeting?
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Old 10-14-2009, 11:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking"

You obviously have no desire to stop drinking, why would you want to attend an AA meeting?

I go to AA meetings because I am from a small town and they are very accepting of me. We all have a problem, that most of the world is very impatient with. So, they are there with open arms to help me through my recovery.

Now, some AA meetings with the old timers they will get aggervated with an addict coming to a meeting. And when someone has something smart to say I say "with all do respect, we are all in the same boat here whether it be drugs or alcohol and my sobriety is important to me". If they don't like what you say leave, maybe you will open that person's eyes that we all need somebody.

AA is just like NA, same steps same desires. Hang in there!!
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Old 10-14-2009, 12:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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You obviously didn't read the op, hence your reply.

The op didn't state that he couldn't attend NA meetings, merely that going to NA meetings was not possible due to the choices he made. Going to the Y instead of an NA meeting, for example.

I boldfaced the bits that I thought were relevant, I think that everyone, regardless of their recovery program would agree that honesty should probably be the centerpiece.

How one could reconcile drinking while attending a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is beyond my comprehension.

I suspect there are folks that attend AA as opposed to NA for one simple reason, NA is pretty upfront about recovering addicts using other substances, and it dovetails pretty nicely with what is referred to as the 'recovery industry' stance.

"Recovery doesn’t stop with just being clean. As we abstain from all drugs (and yes, this means alcohol and marijuana too) we come face to face with feelings that we have never coped with successfully. We even experience feelings we were not capable of having in the past. We must become willing to meet old and new feelings as they come." NA "For The Newcomer"

I could go on about how confusing it might be for an alcoholic newcomer to sit down at the table and listen to stories from recovering addicts, and then see that addict drinking outside that meeting, but this topic is probably better discussed in another thread in the alcoholism forum, if you dig a little you can probably find it.
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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It would appear the OP has left the building.

and Steven2009? again: we cannot give medical advice here.
Please ask your doctor.

D
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:16 PM   #13 (permalink)
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It would appear the OP has left the building.

and Steven2009? again: we cannot give medical advice here.
Please ask your doctor.

D
I did not ask medical advice for one.I simply asked roughly how long withdrawals would last after my last 5mg dose?

Big-big-big difference.

Steven.
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