I just ordered two books on Amazon: "Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay" and "Codependent no more". I'm going to start looking for a job tomorrow and deal with some offices. When you stop waiting for your husband to do something and actually start doing something yourself and for yourself you start being pretty busy. Of course minus usual cooking, shopping and whateverelseisthatidoallday thing. Than you wish there would be no need to sleep.
Anyway to the point. Here I go ;-)
When it's time to leave your husband who drinks:
You can't stand your husband's presence around the kids anymore. He thinks he's going to spend with them half an hour per two weeks, do whatever they want, give them whatever they want and that's parenting.
You can't stand when he touches you. He just doesn't get it does he? He thinks one day he treats you horrible and the next day he comes home after work and expects happy sex life. Those guy they have no clue about women.
You can't function during the day. You have to force yourself through simple things like brushing teeth, shaving legs, not mention food shopping, cooking, taking care of kids.
You don't want to sleep in one bed anymore, sit at one table, do things together. Well, it's not like you do things together anyway. He goes somewhere, spends time somewhere, he has friends you don't know. He does all kind of things just not with you.
You feel more relieved when he's not home. You maybe wait for him, but that goes together with "is he going to be drunk or not, what he's going to do when he'll be etc., etc." What's the point if he's home anyway when he only sleeps, eats, sits on the computer, watches tv etc.
You don't think about love anymore, you think "how to get out of here/this". You can love him from far, far away with the same results.
You don't want to have sex, he calls it "making love". Right! That's really love when you on the top of someone who's crying, trying to struggle and says "no" numerous times. Actually this is the only thing he still wants from you, and maybe only because "you're his wife"?
You don't think about your future together anymore. You're trying to make a plan how to leave and deal with the life yourself.
You can't stand the thought that you depend on someone like that and he may come up with some crazy stunt. Every decision he makes puts the whole family in trouble, usually financial trouble. You have debts you didn't make.
You can't stand the person you've became. This crying, hysterical someone who has nothing done.
You can't sleep, you can't eat, you feel like you're loosing your mind. You're affraid you're going to get sick.
You truly believe that you can be happy again just without him.
You don't trust him at all.
He sleeps with someone else and lies about it.
Of course on the top of this HE DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING, YOU DO, HE JUST DRINKS BECAUSE OF YOU/WORK/STRESS/WHATEVER. Because he doesn't have a problem why on Earth you (stupid woman) want him to get help.
Does anyone have something more to add to this list?
