thankyou for the words in the above posts
i have not been to see a doctor, there is a part of me which i know is telling me this is wrong, but on the other hand i like they way drink makes me feel if that makes sense. I always keep things bottled up, i find it hard to talk to people about how i feel. i cant even tell my family or my closest friends i just disguise the problem. This may sounds stupid, but even if i did sort my addictions out i have nothing at the other end....there is nothing i have in my life that makes me want to change what i do, its sad but how can i be helped when most of the time i dont want to?