Jackie, it sounds like your whole family is in pain - the pain of lost dreams and disappointed expectations.
One thing at a time - you're clean, and that's a start. Years and years of addictions and confusion in one household is going to take time and effort to work through, so concentrate on yourself. It sounds as though each one of you has some major issues but the only ones you can deal with are yours. You've been through a lot in the past and you're going through a lot now - you seem to have quite enough on your plate without worrying about everyone else as well!
Start working on ways to heal your own pain and examine your own issues - keep coming back here whenever you can - are there any Al-Anon/Nar-Anon meetings you could attend?
You've got as far as this so don't despair
HugZ
Sandra