Sorry this is happening to you. I feel ya' on the anxiety and fear of checking the mail or opening those envelopes. I unplugged my house phone and turned off my cell phone for a couple weeks to avoid facing any phone calls that I just could not face at the time. But eventually I faced my fears and turned on my phone, although I left the house phone unplugged for a little longer.
It sounds to me like you have given it enough time for yourself to gather yourself and you know that you are now ready to face what you've been avoiding. I think you can do it! It's not advisable to ignore attorney letters and bills piling up for too long because the consequences of ignoring them will be worse in the long run for you.
Might I suggest that you start with opening just one? And making a plan for the next week or so to increase the number of bills you open each day?
It might be a good idea too to learn how to do deep breathing. Since you're tight on money, you could Google "deep breathing techniques" or "relaxation techniques" and I'm sure you'll get some tips. It really helps me to stand back from something that is causing me anxiety, breathe, take it slow, breathe, post something on SR, breathe, call a friend, you get the picture. Try to force yourself to smile and if you can, watch something funny on TV. Just smiling and definitely laughing will help your anxiety.
While taking these steps, for your own health, I would also avoid blaming your husband or getting angry at him for creating this mess. I know, that's easier said than done, because I have a HUGE problem with my anger
but it's worth a try. When I get angry, I go to the library and look around and pick out some books that might help me in my current situation. It's free and being around others in this environment helps me (Hard to yell and scream in library :O)
Anyway, once you've opened them, call the people you owe money to, explain to them what is happening financially with your family, and ask them to put you on a modest pay plan. Seems EVERYBODY is going through this financial stuff right now, not just you, so feel better a little that you are not the only ones.
OK, I hope this helps some. Take care...and don't forget to breathe.