Ben- thanks for posting this. I am on day 32 and having a lot of the same issues you are talking about. I do know that I have to stay away from the drinking events in order to remain sober. During the day I am always availalbe to do stuff as well as lunch and dinner. Ummm, my friends aren't calling much.....that's ok though.
Everybody knows I'm not drinking right now (to lose weight is what they think). Before I told anybody, people said they could notice something was going on with me (like something was on my mind). People asked me if everything was ok because I just seemed different.
I know that I am acting different b/c I'm not drunk. Yes, I was probably more fun b/c I made them laugh (unfortunately at my expense). Why do I have to be responsible for everybody's fun??? If you aren't good enough company for yourself, what good are you for anybody else? Anyhow, now I just kind of sit back and observe as I am intrigued by the social situations that I used to get so drunk in (not bars....but restaurants, dinner parties, etc.). I am observing other people that I normally perceived through my "wine-goggles". I'm still witty and funny when the moments are right. I just don't see a need to try as hard as I did before. Hmmm.....
Interestingly enough, I feel like I cannot stand any of these people LOL They annoy the heck out of me with shallow, self-absorbed conversations, selfish attitudes, etc. I'm not sure if it's just me being 32 days sober or what. I'm just going to wait this out.
I'm going to start attending meetings soon. This will help me meet some new people who don't drink.
I have been a bit isolated, but I get out everyday. I go to the gym, shopping, etc. I'm just doing different things that my old drinking buddies aren't always interested in doing with me. Nevertheless, I am keeping busy. I haven't felt like hanging out with anybody too much anyhow.
For now, am I socially awkward?.....no. Do I seem different to my old drinking buddies?....I'm sure I do. I remember feeling very awkward at AA meetings. I felt very raw and exposed. Maybe it was because I was
Anyhow, I think if I would've kept on goint it would've gotten better with time (and I wouldn't be back on day 32).
I'm just going to keep trucking along and get to know my sober self better, because I know it is a healthier improvement than my old drinking self. If I have to be socially awkward for a few months....I'm OK with it.
I know that even if I am awkward, I am a fantabulous person! Not everybody is going to like me. That's their problem....obviously not mine LOL