I still cook with wine but I just don't drink - no more than I'd down a cup of soy sauce or vinegar! The way I saw it, I had the following choices: 1) never make dishes like coq au vin again 2) risk making a totally inedible version by trying to replace the wine with something else 3) continue without getting sossed on the wine. I chose #3.
I can definitely understand the initial apprehension when you identify an emotional trigger such as certain kinds of food, activities (like cooking) or places (the kitchen or certainly bars and restaurants). However, if you are able to learn how to enjoy your old pleasures without drinking, you not only conquer a 'fear' but you also "re-discover" a new experience.