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Yikes! Cooking is a Trigger

Old 07-20-2009, 04:41 PM
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Yikes! Cooking is a Trigger

Oh boy...went into the kitchen to start making dinner and realized that for 25 years I drank while I was cooking dinner. It's weird not to. I think the reason I am a darn good cook is that it gave me something to do while drinking! Lots and lots of practice every single night.

So just now I fled from the kitchen. I don't know how to cook without a drink on the counter or in my hand. Sigh...

Anyone else get that feeling that a key element to an activity is MISSING??
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:07 PM
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Hi Rider. I used to love having wine with dinner and having a glass of wine while cooking. Since I no longer allow alcohol in my house, I have had to change all of my rituals. One thing that has helped me is to make lunch my big meal of the day. Then by dinner time, I really don't feel like another big meal so I'll just have a bowl of cereal and a banana, or yogurt and an apple -- stuff that really doesn't go well with wine at all. Do whatever you need to do to shake things up for yourself and plan it out. Good luck!

Laura
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:09 PM
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This was never a biggie for me - I never spend anymore time in the kitchen than I have to LOL but Laura makes a good suggestion - maybe try to vary your routine?

D
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:22 PM
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Lots of triggers, we just don't need to pull the triggers. Used to cook and cook with wine and get cooked with wine, kind of a galloping gourmet. Loved a good cab or 3 or 4 with dinner too (actually before during and after dinner). Now when I cook I just enjoy my cooking, and when I eat I just enjoy my eating. I meditate on what I have and not dwell on what I don't. Giving power to craving thoughts is crazy making. Now I am sober and a better cook and a better eater and a better person. I don't have my wine and I don't have my whine. I am sober today, all is good.
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:57 PM
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well, that's IT! no more cooking for awhile i'll drink my smoothies instead

actually my daughter made me water, and lime and ice in a stemless wine glass and it tasted pretty fine. i know some might think the glass would be a trigger but it just felt normal to pick up that glass and drink something. so now i have eaten and the i'm fine. no alcohol craving. the weird thing about me is that i never drank before 6 pm or after 8 pm... i could get a bottle of wine (or four martini's) squeezed into those two hours though while preparing dinner and eating dinner.
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:06 PM
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You are a quick learner....that's a big plus.
Way to go!
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:21 PM
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Great posts. I am the chef of the house as well and what I found out is that if I cooked I drank less than if I was at someone else's house as a guest. Now I still cook, but since I don't get to finish the dinner with drinking all night afterwords it isn't as fun. In fact nothing is as fun if you look at the before and after approach. Watching tv isn't as fun, nor is cooking, well that is pretty much all I did!!! Other things make up for it though. Tonight I went to the gym and felt strong which is good. I know I'll feel great tomorrow and sleep pretty well tonight. Wine with cooking was definitely something I did though almost every night.
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:29 PM
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Yeah, I actually often put Sprite Zero in a plastic wine glass with ice in it. It did not trigger wanting wine, in fact, as you said, felt like a nice replacement. I do that for my "happy hours" at home now with a little snack sometimes. I think you're doing great!
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:44 PM
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I would turn the music way up and start cooking and go through several drinks... yes I would... some nights I be a little too far gone to enjoy what I cooked.

Sprite Zero now... I can actually taste the food and participate intelligently in dinner conversation. While cooking, I still use the wine glass... Sprite Zero somehow just tastes a little better ..

I got used to it pretty quick... But really, almost any task involved a couple of beers... cleaning the garage, household projects...

Mark
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Old 07-20-2009, 07:56 PM
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[QUOTE=Cubile75;2303244]I would turn the music way up and start cooking and go through several drinks... yes I would... some nights I be a little too far gone to enjoy what I cooked.

OMG ME TOO!!! crank up the music.... and yes ME TOO!!! sometimes just wasn't all that hungry after getting a bit blitzed.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:11 PM
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Think of the positive (won't help with the craving)... but

Alcohol relaxes the lower esophageal sphincter... meaning if you drink prior to eating, you will have to eat more to feel full.

By not drinking, you are preventing overeating - I have no clue how your weight is, but few would see this as a bad thing.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:14 PM
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My problem is that for the past couple of years I would just as soon forego food. Like I said, sometimes I was too blitzed to actually enjoy the meal. The less I ate the better the buzz. So five years ago I was 128 and now I am 117.... (and I'm 5'7" so kinda light for my height!)
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by rider View Post
My problem is that for the past couple of years I would just as soon forego food. Like I said, sometimes I was too blitzed to actually enjoy the meal. The less I ate the better the buzz. So five years ago I was 128 and now I am 117.... (and I'm 5'7" so kinda light for my height!)
Well yeah... actually I did the same re: limiting food. I was just trying to give a positive.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:47 PM
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laura, i just had a thought. by limiting food somehow in my head i musta been convincing myself that i wasn't drinking any MORE than usual (see no drinking problem right?), but i was sure getting a whole lot higher if i didn't send any food down to the ole stomach. common i think with alcoholics.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by rider View Post
laura, i just had a thought. by limiting food somehow in my head i musta been convincing myself that i wasn't drinking any MORE than usual (see no drinking problem right?), but i was sure getting a whole lot higher if i didn't send any food down to the ole stomach. common i think with alcoholics.
So Smacked told me when I referenced doing what the exact same thing you did. Who knows. I did it before I questioned whether or not I had a problem. I thought getting that high and wanting to keep it as long as possible was normal.
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:25 PM
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well gee, Laura, you sure were a heck of alot smarter than me, i only started realized the better/longer high with no food involved at about year 20 of my drinking career. really bad cuz now i think i am not getting all the nutrients out of the food that I am finally consuming. something to do with digestive juices as you get older and alcohol interferes with the absorption of nutrients.
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:52 PM
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I still cook with wine but I just don't drink - no more than I'd down a cup of soy sauce or vinegar! The way I saw it, I had the following choices: 1) never make dishes like coq au vin again 2) risk making a totally inedible version by trying to replace the wine with something else 3) continue without getting sossed on the wine. I chose #3.

I can definitely understand the initial apprehension when you identify an emotional trigger such as certain kinds of food, activities (like cooking) or places (the kitchen or certainly bars and restaurants). However, if you are able to learn how to enjoy your old pleasures without drinking, you not only conquer a 'fear' but you also "re-discover" a new experience.
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:25 PM
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Yeah, I miss cooking to. My favorite stir fry sauce called for one tablespoon of cream sherry and I would do this. However, I would also help myself to the rest of the bottle and go out and get another to drink. It happened more than once with the same stuff.
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:41 PM
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Originally Posted by rider View Post
Oh boy...went into the kitchen to start making dinner and realized that for 25 years I drank while I was cooking dinner. It's weird not to. I think the reason I am a darn good cook is that it gave me something to do while drinking! Lots and lots of practice every single night.

So just now I fled from the kitchen. I don't know how to cook without a drink on the counter or in my hand. Sigh...

Anyone else get that feeling that a key element to an activity is MISSING??
Oh
Did this take me back! I always made elaborate meals so I had an excuse to stay in the kitchen and drink. When I first got sober, I honestly could not cook. I went straight to the gym or a meeting almost every day for the first month or two. Good news, I lost quite a bit of weight. Bad news, my family ate a lot of heat-up meals and ate out a lot during that time. I also enlisted the help of my kids when I did cook cause I used to shoo them from the kitchen so I could drink.

So I have been sober 14 monthas now and I can cook now, lol. But I do not spend nearly as much time in the kitchen anymore. I would rather spend that time with my family or some other activity.

For me, I had to make a lot of adjustments as I went along to give myself the very best chance at long term sobriety. I have really learned how to take care of myself in this last year.

It has been a trip, but a GOOD trip. Enjoy it as much as you can. Savor every little victory, because there are miracles happening all around you.
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Old 07-21-2009, 01:18 AM
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Yep....I was a big wine drinker while cooking. Sometimes I'd drink a bottle of wine while cooking (if it was time consuming). I won't even think about making eggplant parmesan for a long while. Now, I drink fizzy water.
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