I was super social before in sobriety I have realized that my true self isn't really as social as I had myself believe— meaning when I slowed down and listened to what I really wanted, a lot of that was alone time and reflection. I was a really serious and shy child so it is no surprise that I am falling back into that. That being said the first six months of sobriety I was a hermit. I didn't want to hang out with people, so I didn't. I just listened to my body.
After six months I finally felt like being social again. It has been difficult. A large part of it has been that in the environments where I was previously super comfortable, "night spots," I no longer am. In early sobriety, I put a lot of that on myself. Now, I see it differently. I don't really want to interact with people who are drinking a lot. I don't like interacting with people on a superficial level— quickly, in the dark, in loud places. During daylight hours in a way I am fine maybe because those hours were easier to reprogram. I got a dog, a super cute dog, the kind of dog people are obsessed with, an "ice-breaker" dog and he has helped me talk to all sorts of people. I am not kidding here, he almost gives me that bar-type interaction during the day on the streets but it is so much better! It is easy to talk to people when it is about something you love and when you have this thing that starts the conversation. I have made friends through my dog. At night now and in my general life I am struggling with friends and social issues. All my friends still drink mainly. I have a couple who do not, but I really need more in recovery friends because I just find myself drawn towards different activities and find my "using" friends do not always understand or are there for me when I am having a difficult time around drinking or recovery. I also find that they have a different idea of fun. It is a slow process, learning to be social again, making that change, finding the right people, but hopefully it will all work out.