Originally Posted by
BenMacdui 
Hello people, this is a question I raised on SoberRecovery chat yesterday (thanks greatly to those who responded yesterday
), and I wish to put it out to all of you for your thoughts.
I'm quite sociable, but this was greatly helped by the drink. Ever since I've stopped, I'm found myself much more socially awkward around people - and more boring and less witty as well. Since I spend much of my time meeting new people, I'm starting to feel that without a drink, I can't open up or be socially free and normal without a drink to help me, and it is getting me down. People just seem to be terse, and then the conversation dies. It's particularly unsettling since I am now looking for new friends who I can exist with outside the pub.
How many of you have had this issue in your early recovery, and what did you do about it? Any responses would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Ben,
I understand what you're saying. I have this to a certain extent.
When I would drink I would become more social and actually care to make small talk lol. I would be really talkative and less shy in social situations. With me, it generally depends on the type of social situation I'm in. If it's a classroom/work envrionment I tend to just listen and not participate that much. If I feel the need to say something I will. Other than that I don't have much to say.
I haven't been going out like I did when I was drinking, so I'm not sure how I'd be. I wouldn't be as anxious if it's a situation where I know everyone. I am just going through it. I don't really have an answer on how to deal with it. I am just hoping with more sober time it will become easier to be in social situations.
I made a post in the Anxiety Forum about fear of speaking in front of a group of people. That is something I'm petrified of, and I have to do it in a few months. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for it. It's hard enough just being in a classroom right now. I was used to having a few drinks just to take the edge off before going into a social situation. I would feel more confident and relaxed which made it easier to interact.
I plan on picking up a self-help book on the topic of Anxiety. (Not sure if you just feel socially awkward AND anxious) I know there must be some mental exercises to help with this.