Hey Waterman, take a look over at the Adult Child of A forum.
Read the posts, see what these folks are going through, What they have 'suffered' ALL their lives.
That will give a much better idea on HOW the children are being damaged.
I know I am an 'old fogie' but when I see a child/ren in trouble and can verify the facts I do pick up and call CPS. We have enough screwed up adults in this world, we don't need the next generation to be that way also.
As to talking to your friend .................................. well give it a shot, however, you know as well as most on these boards, an alcoholic will justify and DENY until they have hit their bottom.
Please remember the 3 C's
You didn't CAUSE it.
You can't CONTROL it.
You can't CURE it.
Nope you cannot 'fix' your friend, or his wife, but you can help to protect the children.
J M H O
Love and hugs,