rock bottom
I don't know if I hit rock bottom but I just have to get my story off my chest right now. If the typing is bad it's because my hands are shaking soooo badly.
a year ago I drank too much and got on my motorcycle blacked out
I hit a car head-on and should be dead.
I am still alive with multiple injuries but can still walk and function (mostly) like normal people
I then started right back up with drinking but had an ample supply of potent narcotics which I used, abused and will still probably take. Snorting oxycontin cost me my marriage and I even had to be rushed to the hospital once for an overdose-type situation due to mixing oxycontin with alcohol
(i will try to be brief)
so now I am back to drinking...all day and supplementing with oxycontin. when the drugs run dry I drink more 750ml of vodka and beers. so, upwards of 14 drinks a day. when I do this cycle of binge drinks and drugs I lose weeks of time and memories, then sober up for a week and start all over.
I lost track of enough time to scare my ex who Sunday call the police to ask them to check if I was dead in my bed. which they did, harassed me and saw how appalling my living space is. I lose so much track of time I don't even really notice the mess until I am sober.
I am mortified and don't know where to turn. This is my second day of not drinking and I get all the worst symptoms of withdrawals. Some of them aren't even in any text I can find on abuse.
help