But, if the addiction is a disease, isn't it always there? Active or not?
I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter if he relapses or not. He either will or he won't and we'll deal with it one way or another. He's only had one stint in relapse. He's only tried once to get sober. He's been sober for 3 1/2 years. It just seems that I rarely read a story where he/she has stayed sober "forever".
I don't know.
As said above relapse is part of the addiction, relapse is not a part of recovery.
Now, that being said, can recovery be forever, I do believe so. I celebrated 28 years in June and 25 years in Al-Anon. I have been able to accomplish that by working my butt off ON ME all these years, USING the tools (ALL of them at one time or another) provided to me by AA and my sponsors, and when in a place that your H seems to be in, CALLING my sponsor and sober friends, talking the 'problem' to death, going to more meetings.
I have a daily reprieve conditioned on my fit spiritual condition.
So, will he relapse, won't he relapse? Who knows.
I've learned over the years, there are NO GUARANTEES in this life, so I have to be the best ME I can be on a daily basis. To do that, I have to step away from A. I cannot fix them. If I worry about their actions or lack of actions, I am taking energy away from something I could be doing for me, whether to help me in my on going abstinence or working on my 'codie' behavior.
I found this little 'daily' priority list has helped me greatly in most facets of my life"
HP first.
Then myself.
Then those around me in order of importance to me.
Love and hugs,