Here's the phrase that finally got me out of having these conversations with my A loved ones:
"Don't hold back."
And then I did an about face and looked at myself and my options and my problems and focused on me. AlAnon was a big help here.
Things got much much better and different pretty quickly.
I could not stomach a conversation like this ever again! It's all about him and his drinking. YUK!!
I am glad you are putting this behind you sandrawg! In hindsight isn't it just so INSANE??!!!
peace-
b