I can't be entirely sure, but I think I'm in a similar place as you are. I'm stuck between anger and grief. I've done Al-non as well in the past, and while I think it is helpful in so many ways, in many ways I'm way beyond that. I'm beyond the addict and I'm all about ME. And how horrible I feel. Perhaps it was my specific branch, but it didn't address my anger/grief. I'm way beyond I didn't cause it, it's not my fault. I'm stuck at it's not fair that I (a healthy baby) got stuck with this. I really want to try ACA, but there aren't any in my area. I'm planning on making the hour drive to the closest one and attending with a cousin once my class load lightens up (and seeking some free counseling from school at the same time).
The don't tell don't feel motto of my family has so far always been my downfall and I hope to break it. My parents spend thousands of dollars on counseling on me in the past while trying to keep the cat in the bag. They let me look like the crazy one, while they were just a hard-working upper-middle-class family, how were they cursed with a daugher like me?