My kids are great. They're so happy and healthy and yeah, you're right, I guess I was born that way, too. I really just never thought about it that way.
If they are living with you and your mom in the same house, they are not happy and healthy!
I agree, it's time to separate your self from you mom as in physically move away. Sit down with you hubby and talk about what you guys need to do to get away. Even if it means cutting her financially. If you keep providing for her you are still enabling and cannot get better.
I used to think I was so messed up no one could love me if they really knew how I was. I chose to not let that define me and work on a new me where I have healthy decisions and patterns. The old me was there a little bit but it did not make me who I wanted to me anymore.