JensSis

My sis in law and I just started speaking again, so far, it's goin g great. She's well on her way to recovery and is on step 4. I stopped speaking to her because I couldn't handle her behaviors and outbursts and verbal abuse while she was using and didn't want to enable her anymore.
We spoke tonight, in person, and for the first time in a long time had a 2 way rational calm but emotional discussin about why we stopped speaking. Obviously, we both have very different perspectives, which is very understandable, my understanding and acceptance of this is largely due to teh people on this forum, so thank you for that.
She did say toward the end of the conversation that she can believe that she wasn't as innocent as she thought but she still doesn't remember doing any of it. I'm okay with that, as long as she stays clean and it doesn't happen anymore, I am completely willing to forgive and forget, I've already forgiven.
She's been attending AA as well as ALANON (but she's addicted to perscription pills) and she parctically begged me to go to ALANON meeting with her.
I've been going to a therapist and working on myself and my issues with guilt that come from 2 addicted parents and an addicted brother, pluse friends that have died due to drug related things, one was a suicide. I'm working on learning to say no to people and to not accept fault for other people's shortcomings and I think I have made progress.
While ALANON seems like it might be a good thing for me, I have a few reservations about it that are holding me back from going, I was just wondering if anyone else had had the same feelings about going and if I am wrong about the meetings.
For one thing, I think my husband will laugh at me about going, he already said it's ridiculous for me to go and I hate having to feel embarrassed about it. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks, but it bothers me.
Another thing is that I just can't picture myself in a group session type of thing. I was never one to talk about my problems with people, I tried to work it out on my own or in therapy.. I don't really knwo how to open up to strangers.
A big thing is the religious aspect. I wouldn't say I'm athiest, maybe agnostic. I believe there's rhyme and reason to everything, that there are no accidents and that there is lessons to be learned in everything and that there is an overall path that we're supposed to follow, but the organized religion and God and Jesus or whatever else, I'm not sure I can get into believing that. I believe that there's something, but I don't know what and I don't really believe that it's one divine being. If the alanon steps are devoting myself to a higher power, I don't think that I can take it seriously. To me, saying that everything is in Gods hands is like saying that you don't have to accept responsibility for your own actions.
I want to go to support her, but I don't want to just kind of "fake it" to please her either. I want to be sure that I'm going for me. Has anyone else struggles with the religion part of Alanon? How did you get over it? Is it really religious or is that the least part of it? I just don't know what to expect.
Thanks for any advice!!