Originally Posted by
olinda1 
Want2, my fingers are crossed for you that he doesn't relapse. That must have been really scary. .
Thank you but I'm afraid he already has. It was scary, but it was kind of a relief too. I know that sounds unkind and I don't mean it to be, but from what you say below, I think you understand.
Originally Posted by
olinda1 I wonder how many partners of A's wish the A would end up on a ventilator or some other such dire consequence, hoping it would drive the message home. I know I have. I used to hope he'd get a DUI and lose his license permanently (he lost it for 4 years about 14 years ago but eventually got it back, but one more and he loses lifetime driving privileges). For some f-d up reason, he seemed to always land on his feet, like a cat. He lost his job, and voila! Obama plan extended unemployment benefits from 6 months to now over a year....etc. etc. He catches a break allllll the time, it's really weird!
On the flip side, I used to tell ABF that I knew he COULD quit drinking because I knew if someone appeared and say, offered him five million dollars if he never drank again, he'd quit -- right there and forever. I truly believe that. But then that's really just saying that if responsibilities and hardships and many daily stresses of work, etc. were removed, he'd abstain because his inability to handle that is why he drinks.
Regarding the paragraph above, I think that you hit the nail on the head. Not only do they have to admit and accept the problem, but they also have to work on the underlying issues that causes them to try to numb the pain. I believe this is why AA and therapy is crucial.