What do I do??
Can you accept her, as she is, right now today?
Can you be happy in this relationship, is it fulfilling your needs?
Accept what IS. Not what might be potentially if this or that changes etc.
Treasure your freedom and mental health. For me, they are the most valuable things I have.
She tends to turn things around on me and make things to be my fault.
I learned how to protect myself from the classic manipulations of alcoholics through AlAnon and through one-on-one counseling.
Good luck.
The past is gone. You are free in this moment.
peace,
b